Resricted
by bezawesome
Summary: Overcome by grief and anger, Roy considers doing something drastic and dangerous. To do this, he must find something in the restricted area of the library, but who does he find there but his youngest subordinate. Will Edward be able to stop him from making the same mistake he did? Rated T for violence, drama, and alcohol. No pairings. slightly parental. extreme ANGST


***SPOILERS if you're not at least halfway through any of the Fullmetal Alchemist animes or manga.* **

**Rated T for violence, drama, and alchohol. No pairings. Please give it a chance!**

******This is meant to be a ONE-shot. But I wrote more just for my own enjoyment, I may or may not finish editing those 2 other chapters, so until then just enjoy this ending please! I worked really hard on this for _months._ I don't think I'm much of a writer, I draw way better. **

******But I am proud of this story so enjoy!  
**

Restricted

A clap reverberated through the dark, moonlit hallways. Ed winced; He hadn't meant for it to be that loud. Glancing around, he placed his hands on the wooden door in front of him and transmuted a hole big enough for his body to fit through. After the blue light faded, he swung his legs up and slid into the other room easily, until his head hit the edge of the wood.

"Ow!"

He pressed the palm of his hand to the new bruise as his boots hit the floor. He had to be more careful next time. Turning around, Ed hastily sealed the makeshift opening in the door back to the way it was.

_Good. No one's the wiser._ He thought smugly as a grin played on his lips.

Facing the extensive room he broke into, the Fullmetal Alchemist studied the various book shelves that towered above his being like forest trees. There was a small clearing in front of the library entrance, and other areas with couches and tables for reading. Streams of moonlight escaped the twilight outside through the large windows on the opposite wall. They illuminated the library just enough for Edward to navigate his way to the restricted section on the left wall.

Ed ignored the golden plaque that read "Restricted Do Not Enter" and ducked under the thick yellow ropes that separated the books from everything else.

He needed to find more research on how to get their bodies back and was desperate enough to search the illegal alchemic practices to get it. He had convinced Alphonse to stay in their dorm and promised to return soon. Besides, Ed could move more stealthily if he was alone.

With a loud sigh, Ed began his search by pulling out the first book he saw. He squinted at the cover which was shrouded in the inky darkness. Dangit he couldn't even read the title!

The blonde dashed to the corner of the bookshelf to hold the book up to the light and read the title: Chimeras. Ed hung his head.

This was going to be a long night.

He was about to scoop up as many books as possible into his arms so he could camp out next to the windows, when a small rattling noise reached his ears. Ed's shoulders tensed and he slowly glanced around the room. An orange glow lit the area by the door and Ed's eyes widened in panic. He thought he was the only one awake here at Headquarters.

Shoving the useless book back in its place, he ducked back into the concealment of the bookshelves. He steered his way through the large restricted section so he could get a closer look at who had just entered. Peeking between two hardcover books, Ed spotted a military clad man with midnight black hair. A small flame was held alive in the palm of his pristine white gloved hand.

Ed cursed under his breath. How Colonel Roy Mustang found him, he didn't know. Maybe the jerk had seen him transmute the door, since his office was right down the hall.

Ed couldn't risk getting a restriction on his research and travel funds. Any more setbacks were not needed in his journey to restore Alphonse's body.

The colonel was walking swiftly and unsteadily in Edward's direction, eyes dancing along the manuscripts. Ed's mind was racing a mile a minute, trying to think of a way out of this. His breathing was shallow and adrenaline pumped through his veins. He stepped back, spun around and cautiously shuffled along the wall deeper into the library.

_He's not going into the forbidden section, right? He shouldn't see me._ Ed reasoned in his head hopefully. He was mostly just trying to convince himself.

Mustang's military issued boots pounded the floor loudly. Unfortunately, the footsteps came closer.

Roy stepped over the ropes, and his foot momentarily got caught. In effect, the man was thrown off balance and the flame was extinguished as he fell against a shelf. An irritated grunt was heard as he pushed himself off and regained his composure.

Ed watched him trip and snickered quietly into his hand. In the back of his mind, he wondered briefly what was wrong with Mustang for him to slip up like that, alone or not.

One snap later and a burst of flame lit the books in front of Roy. He began looking through them, disappearing from Ed's sight. Edward was just going to have to play hide and seek.

_I guess even kiss-up Mustang breaks the rules. What was he even doing in here? Why was the hypocrite in the restricted section? Sheesh he's wasting my precious time. _Ed became lost in his frantic angry thoughts.

Minutes later, Edward was startled from his scrutiny by light being shone in his face, forcing him to blink rapidly. Mustang was standing on the other side of the bookshelf. An involuntary gasp parted Ed's lips, and he immediately reprimanded himself for it.

Roy was much too close.

Taking light steps (as light as he could make them with an automail leg) Ed tiptoed towards the wall so he could go a few more bookshelves away from his superior. Roy's dark figure moved again and Ed panicked, sliding even faster towards the wall.

_This isn't something I can fight my way out of, if I get caught-_

"Fullmetal?"

_Crap!_

Ed froze and twisted his neck slowly towards the gruff voice.

Roy stepped around the corner of the bookshelf. He looked bewildered and a little bit angry, his eyes locking onto Edward's fair ones. "What are you doing in here?" he growled.

Ed guessed that he looked like a deer caught in the headlights, but Mustang was guilty also.

"I could say the same thing!" Edward accused harshly and faced him fully. He decided to turn the attention on the colonel, "What were you looking for, huh?"

Ed had been hunting for restricted information too, but Mustang didn't need to know that.

"That's none of your concern." Roy stated smugly as he stepped closer. There was something dangerous hidden just below the surface of his carefully composed mask. Its presence unnerved Edward a bit. "As your superior officer, I order you to tell me what you were doing here."

_So he was going to pull the rank card huh? The jerk only cares about the amount of stars on his uniform. _Ed thought cynically.

A sudden large yawn stretched his lips and he covered his mouth.

"Research." Ed said simply and smirked at the utter irritation that passed onto Roy's face. The flame encased in his gloved hand flickered a little more wildly, casting a red glint on Edward's golden eyes.

Mustang heaved a heavy, exasperated sigh. "I figured as much." His glare hardened. "Fullmetal, this area is restricted. You could get in a lot of trouble for being down here."

That sounded like a threat.

Ed scowled and fidgeted slightly under his cold gaze, until he collected himself again.

"If you tell anyone, they're going to wonder how you could've seen me." Ed countered with a sly smile. "You'll only get caught too."

Roy frowned and without warning seized the boy's left wrist, instantly wiping the smile off Ed's features. He leaned down towards Ed and said threateningly, "No one's going to find out." The stench of alcohol in Ed's face caused him to gag.

The colonel must have been drinking again, trying to dispel his grief over Maes Hughes' recent death. Ed felt a fleeting twinge of concern for Roy, but it vanished when the man pressed his wrist against the wall.

Edward didn't like how Mustang could intimidate him so easily. Even when Mustang was sober he was dangerous, but now there was no telling what he would do.

With a growl, Ed clenched his fists and violently shoved the offending hand away using his automail. He prepared to move past Roy, but then something fell out of the man's coat and landed on the floor with a thud.

There seemed to be a long pause where both of them looked down at the fallen, dust covered book in silent horror.

Ed's stomach dropped.

Moonlight glinted off the silver lettering that read "Human Transmutation".

Instantaneously Ed's clenched hands started shaking. "Colonel, what is this…What are you trying to do?" The blonde asked softly still looking down, trying to control his breathing. His expression was alive with anger, disappointment, and sheer disbelief.

"I-" the man stuttered.

Edward jerked his head up and glared heatedly at Roy. The iridescent light cast strange shadows over his superior's countenance. The aggravation of being discovered showed clearly through Roy's slightly opened mouth and furrowed eyebrows.

But soon Ed could see nothing of Roy as the little fire flickered and went out.

The flame alchemist's concentration on keeping the fire alive was lost in all his twisted emotions. The library was enveloped in shades of blue and black, the haunting colors mirroring Roy's current state of mind.

"Are you trying to kill yourself?" Ed shouted hysterically into the darkness, gold eyes flashing dangerously. "Hughes can't be brought back from the dead!"

Anger surged through Ed's body, contorting his face as he opened his mouth again to scream at Roy for being such an idiot, but before his eyes had time to adjust, something swung toward his face. Ed aimed to duck, in spite of this the rough hand clamped over his mouth and cut off the shouts trying to escape his throat.

Impulsively Ed wrapped his fingers around Roy's arm and struggled to yank it away, eyes widening. He began to squirm uneasily because once again, his back was to the wall. He desperately hated this feeling of being trapped like a caged animal.

His golden eyes narrowed in loathing as the man leaned down to the side of the boy's head and whispered hotly in his ear, "Do you want to wake up the entire building?"

Mustang's steel grip on Ed's face was starting to pain his jaw. His groans escaped through the man's fingers and he pushed harder against Roy's arm. He gazed blindly at the ceiling as he took in the colonel's next words.

"Listen, Elric." The ruthless, commanding tone was evident in Roy's voice. His breath brought the nauseating odor of alcohol across Ed's nose. "Don't tell me what to do. If you even think about saying anything, everyone will know _exactly_ why your limbs are missing."

Edward's golden eyes finally settled on Roy's ebony ones. Bitter cold washed over Ed's skin as he stared at Roy with betrayal and disgust.

_Mustang wouldn't do that to me, would he? I'd be sent straight to the firing squad and who knows what scientists would experiment on Alphonse. He wouldn't betray us like that. He wouldn't_. Ed thought grimly but perceived the seriousness in the colonel's demeanor.

Doing the first thing that came across his mind, he bit down on the white clad fingers, letting his teeth sink into the material until Roy pulled his hand away forcefully. Roy stepped back cradling his injured hand and cursed fluently under his breath. Anger clouded his already intoxicated mind.

"You hypocrite!" Ed screeched. He pushed himself off the wall intending to let Mustang feel just what he thought about him. His automail fist connected with Mustang's ribs, earning a loud grunt as the man doubled over, stumbling back against a bookshelf.

Roy ignored the searing pain in his chest and towered over the insubordinate teenager.

"Don't forget who I am, you little brat! You will respect your higher ranking officer!"

Ed raised his fist again but before he even knew what was happening, he was punched across the cheek so hard his face shot to the left. His whole body was knocked off balance and he stumbled backwards and fell to the wooden floor. The shock was etched across his face, his senses momentarily numb.

A sharp stinging sensation lingered on Ed's face that deemed his tongue unproductive for the time being. He leaned forward resting his automail on his knee, his other hand holding his scowling face. The unmistakable taste of blood overwhelmed his mouth. He must have bitten his tongue. Ed swallowed the vile liquid and cringed as he looked up at Mustang.

Edward had never seen the colonel act like this. In his office, Mustang had never before become so angry, his facade never slipping past the first tones of anger and frustration. Liquor had affected his mind, enough for him to consider human transmutation.

Edward slid his eyelids shut.

The next time Roy became drunk, would he be there again to convince him his best friend was beyond the reach of coming back? Ed thought not. He needed to get through to the idiot and fighting wasn't going to change anything, as much as he wanted to punch Roy's lights out.

As he opened his mouth to speak, Ed's cheek throbbed uncomfortably.

"This isn't the way to deal with his death. You can't dwell on the past or you'll never move forward. Isn't that what you said, when-" Ed silently swallowed and opened his weary eyes "…when Nina was killed?"

A gasp, so quiet that Ed thought he imagined it, was heard in the intense air. He swiveled his face to look up at Mustang and noticed that his sharp, black eyes widened slightly and his skin was a shade paler.

The colonel looked nervous at the mention of the deceased four year old girl and a resemblance of guilt tugged at his features. Ed latched onto that guilt like a leech. Deep down Roy knew the truth; he was just acting on false hope and frantic longing.

Edward still felt guilty for dragging Hughes into his search for the philosopher's stone. It was while he was helping him and Al that he was killed. He couldn't let Mustang die because of him too, even if indirectly. Hughes' death was partly his fault and if Mustang died trying to bring him back, then that would also be on his shoulders.

The golden eyes staring intently at Roy were clouded with endless grief and lacked their usual fire. They were too old for their years and had seen so much loss. Roy steeled himself as Ed set him with an extreme stare and pushed himself to his feet.

"Lieutenant Colonel Hughes can't ever come back." Ed stated firmly. He had to get through Mustang's thick skull. "It's not possible."

"You wouldn't understand, Fullmetal." Roy spat coldheartedly.

"Oh I wouldn't? Did you forget what happened when Al and I tried to bring back my mom?" Ed's automail arm grabbed hold of the colonel's collar and he jerked the drunk down to his eyelevel.

"I know you miss him. I miss him too but you…_can't_ make the same mistake I made. It's not worth it!" His shaky grip on Roy's coat slackened and tears stung his eyes and threatened to spill, but he stubbornly forced them back, determined not to humiliate himself anymore in front of his colonel.

Roy could no longer keep his subordinate's haunted gaze, and averted his dark eyes to the wall. Sickness started to creep over his body. Cupping his hand over his mouth, he forced the rising vomit in his throat back down. Dizziness washed over him and he swung where he stood until he collapsed.

Overwhelmed with exhaustion, Ed sat down in front of Roy and waited in apprehension for him to recover.

Ed observed the cold drops of sweat that rolled down Mustang's face, which was twisted with pain. Losing his best friend so unexpectedly must've been difficult. Ed's best friend was of course Al, and he couldn't even imagine living without his little brother. For the first time, Ed could fully see Mustang's side of things. He would do anything for his innocent brother, because he deserved it more than himself. But surely Mustang knew how foolish and consequential attempting human transmutation was. There was no end to the possibilities of what he could physically lose. Moreover it was forbidden by the laws of the state and if he was caught he could be executed or in the very least lose his military license, throwing away his dream of becoming fuehrer.

The flame alchemist finally opened his weary eyes. They shone with so much sadness; He looked so defeated and lost, completely out of hope. Leisurely, he reached for something by his leg, causing Edward to stiffen. Roy held in his hand the human transmutation book, the source of all their turmoil.

The tension in the air was suffocating.

Ed looked at him fearfully, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. He was prepared to snatch it out of his hand at a moment's notice, when Roy surprised him. Roy Mustang extended the book to his youngest charge, hand shaking slightly.

"Take it. I don't want anything to do with it."

Mouth opening slightly, Ed froze up completely and studied his commander's eyes. _Is it some sort of trick? Did I really convince him?_

Ed paused for a long moment until Mustang summoned up a tone that left no room for questions. "I said take it, Fullmetal."

**I'm a huge fan of angst and parentalRoyEd, so I just had to write this. I hope Ed was in character, Mustang doesn't count because he was drunk lol XD. I drew the cover art in pencil just for posting this online, and I hope it grabbed your attention! I love Roy hurting Ed.. don't know why. Oh and you didn't see any cussing because I don't cuss myself and I wanted to show I can write an intense story without profanities.  
**

**If you enjoyed this please PLEASE tell me! It would really help my insecurity! (please review anytime, even after a year. I check back a lot)  
**

**What was your favorite part? What were your emotions? Did you like the plot? I'm most curious about what you thought the story was going to be about judging by the cover.  
**


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